he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
