Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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