my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
