well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
