It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
