So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
where are my pants?
in the oven.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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