Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
