grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
