This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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