so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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