its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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