do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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