I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
