At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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