I cannot find my penis.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i love accidental penises.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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