I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
