i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize