He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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