sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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