Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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