is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
