Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
