It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
