my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
