i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
