i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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