The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
