She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
