only if we run a train.
done.
im holly from the hills drunk
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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