Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
