the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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