I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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