Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
