Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
