even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
