Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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