so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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