I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
