Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
