I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
