Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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