i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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