Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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