I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
