hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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