Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
