I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
