Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
