i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Less talking, more tequila
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
