if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
