Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
