if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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