Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My vagina is very pro this idea
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
