At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
