To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
