Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Someone shattered a urinal.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
