I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you didnt know i had herpes?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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