ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
