My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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